Life in two baskets

I am never fond of sci-fi movies but there is something interesting about a few of them. Most of them don’t make too much of sense, but I tend to draw my own analogies out of them. An example would be the consideration that everything I have seen and felt and probably will do so later on is classified into two categories. I sort them and place them into two baskets- one I call “the surreal” and the other I call “the real”. The only connection between both of them is my mind. If I can succeed in mentally keeping both of these disjoint, life is hassle free. And if I ever do conquer the surreal, I will probably be “the one”. Life is like a witch, an enchantress, a sorceress; enticing one to believe that the evanescent sensation of happiness and bliss will last forever. The illusion can never last long, the bubble has to break simply because it is way too perfect. And when it does, it takes away all the lovely things that it brought along. There are times when every ounce of strength that you think you possess has suddenly dissolved away. Where is that smile on the face and that beautiful song that dwelt in the heart? It takes away the “you” that you were…so far. The capability to feel anything anymore is gone and shall probably never return with the same fervor. So powerful is this sensation of Love, that it engulfs even those who have never been capable of expressing any emotions at all. And to them, letting it go is a curse, a misery; a degenerative disease that will just destroy them. Sadism indeed it is, because the same experience makes you aware of how intense your emotions could be and snatches it away from you. Shells are built all around oneself and the past is locked up safe in the Pandora’s Box which is all that the heart shall function as from now on. Too much or too little of anything never does any good but who cares any longer? Memories are sealed and words shall never be spoken. To be true to your heart and to care is just pointless. Especially, when what was once next to godliness has now been shunned and disregarded. But then, when there is darkness – it cannot last forever. Dawn shall bless us someday.

The daughter of a whore

My sorrow,my joy, my only love, my everything, she was
A heavenly nymph with eyes that shone like the stars
I could not watch her become another me
Helpless, I knew that I had to set her free
The clock ticked away incessantly
Bastards!they would come for her mercilessly
The dawn would drag her into this infernal world
Oh no! she was too pristine to be sold
The world is too bad for you I told her
O my little princess,please forgive your mother
But you shall never have a life of shame
Wretched and lowly, with a tainted name
In my arms she lay as she breathed her last
as she journeyed into the heavens past
A fatherless daughter of a whore
My darling, my angel
and then she was no more

three hours of grandeur

From a dirty shabby room piled with books and clothes ( exams being the relevant excuse at this time of the year), the ambience was suddenly transformed into sheer lavishness and grandiosity. We were supposedly attending a memorial lecture for the Alzheimer's AARC Consortum at the Ritz Carlton, Phoenix. We spent 5 minutes going round in circles in order to find a convenient parking spot and figured that these guys had only "valet parking". My coulleague commented that the guy who did it for us probably never saw such a car before. Breakfast was perfect- croissants,fruit, juice and coffee. The lecture was technically disapoointing evidently because it had to cater to lots of non-scientists and non-researchers in the audience. Each one of us dutifuly procured a copy of the schedules, the writing paper with the Hotel's name stamped on it. The ballroom was where this was happening and the paintings and the decorations distracted me from time to time. The restrooms had towels as against the usual cheaper option that is common elsewhere!. Lunch was a sumptous meal. I had someone behind me all the time to take care of all that i would need. People were at their formal best and i realised that i was the only person in jeans. Thank God that i had worn a shirt instead of one of my t-shirts and slippers instead of my canvas shoes. A lot of big names and big people in neuroscience research were present and i spent most of my time making a mental note of their faces even as my coulleague pointed them out to me. The speaker also pointed out that the problem i will be working on for my thesis, has the largest amount of money pumped in from pharmaceutical industries; the only difference being that they are looking at conventional methods to develope their drug while i am using something that is quite different. My PhD mentor leaned across from his seat and said- so how does it feel to know that what you are working on is one of the most important issues being addressed in Alzheimer's Research?! All i could manage was a broad smile and something stupid that i mumbled.....
All in all a very inspiring experience.....hope i get to present a poster at some such place and maybe that way i will be able to interact with all the big brains of neuroscience.