sex and bacteria

Bacteria do have sex….well yeah it’s a crude and very primitive technique but still the basic idea is pretty much the same…u have one cell donating its DNA and the other receiving it..they build a bridge which is a route to transfer the genetic material….pretty much the only distinction between a male and a female organism is to find which is the donor and which is the recipient…..And well they keep traveling at 50 kmph even when they attempt conjugation…so well its an on the run task like anything else and probably that’s why there is a good chance that they miss it.
Even more interesting is the fact that different species can mate too….some form of inter caste marriages I guess! Well… there is one thing that I can say quite vehemently…they are a bloody stubborn species and very fussy too….They need a perfect environment to thrive…by this I mean the salts, sugars and other solutions must all be of accurate amounts and ratios and even the pH has to be within this range…..and oh! the temperature cannot just be too low or too high….they don’t care whether its winter or summer…seasons don’t matter to most of them when they engage themselves in such intimate exercises…..they always need this congenial atmosphere…..except a few who adapt themselves to hot springs n so on…..and so we must have these contraptions that maintain constant temperatures in our labs….Its like you give them good food ….a nice little party…and coax them to listen to you….basically you grow them in some dumb medium and they need to be stirred continuously and hence you end up using the “shaker”!!!!!For over three months I am struggling to grow them and eventually get something from them….but they seem to be choosy about who handles them as well! Now who wants this new confused and nervous nut to handle us- they say….and so they don’t co-operate…learn missy learn… Hey! don’t u dare handle us so roughly! You are so inexperienced and we will never grow in your hands.. It’s a matter of pride and dignity when we have an expert taking us through this entire journey…so until you get there we shall make it tough for you….
Oh how I wish they had balls…I would have kicked them….and as for the females…oh well…I presume that they will die soon without their faithful companions anyways….